I NEVER REALLY LIKED CRICKET.....

I confess to finding the game of cricket tedious. I have never understood the rules and never wanted to. In England the best thing about it was that it was often played on village greens on balmy summer afternoons with onlookers (who clearly did not find it as monotonous as I did) spilling out of pubs with names like The Red Lion or The Black Bull, pints in hand to lazily observe the progress of the contest. The spotlessly white garments of the players were pleasing to the eye. I especially liked the way some of the more fashion conscious draped their v- necked sweaters around their shoulders as they ambled towards the pub as the sun went down. In New Zealand the absence of village greens and Red Lions rather sealed the fate of the game for me, however. I really didn’t like those coloured pajama type outfits the players began to wear a couple of decades ago. I have an aversion to the background noise of the game on television, hour after hour, day after dreary day as the husband remains glued to the screen with the volume just a little too high on account of his challenged hearing. I feel murderous when he suddenly reverts back to the cricket in the middle of Coronation Street - `Just for a second because I want to know the score’. Oh how my knitting needles want to leap from my homicidally inclined fingers at those moments and sink themselves into the back of his neck. If he knew how deadly my intent was he would refrain from score checking even though it is generally, as he is quick to point out, only during the commercial breaks. So you’ve got the picture I’m sure, I really do not enjoy the game of cricket. However, in recent weeks I am ashamed to say that a whisper of interest has been kindled via the trial of one unfortunate Chris Cairns. I followed the action with great attention. As former friends and colleagues lined up to tell the world what a disgraceful cheat he was, I was convinced beyond any doubt that the outcome could only be several years in prison for young Christopher though the first uncertainty set in when the Judge seemed to me at least to be directing the Jury to `find him not guilty or else…..’ He doesn’t really mean that I thought to myself. So it was with disappointment that I woke on that fateful day a couple of weeks back to a Chris Cairns telling the world how relieved he is and what an ordeal he has been through. The husband harked back to the lack of what he called hard evidence and went back to munching his muesli. That’s all very well but I could not help but feel disillusioned by the result – most particularly since Mr. Cairns seemed to me to be remarkably understanding and even forgiving of those who had turned against him, appearing at the proceedings merely to tell lies about him. I could almost hear him turning several cheeks whereas if I were in his position I would be planning revenge and retribution. Chris Cairns does not concern himself with the settling of scores. It only goes to show how capricious the game and its players are. As I said, I’ve never been able to work up much enthusiasm for it.