We were discussing the pain caused when those who once were Loved Ones let you down, who studiously ignore the very people who should by rights count as Nearest & Dearest for over a decade, when they fail to acknowledge important dates and even ignore a sick and ageing parent for months on end. Sonya said that abandonment is invariably distressing, most especially when it emanates from a much loved son or daughter. Maria was more in agreement with me and felt that with the passing of time the anguish diminishes and then she added that so indeed did the anger. But there I disagreed with her.
Tom was more pragmatic and his view encompassed forgiveness but then Tom is a very Good Person and forgiveness comes easily to him. He thought that in the end a mother’s love would always prevail and reminded us that even the Yorkshire Ripper’s mother loved him when the rest of the world was filled with odium because that’s the way mothers are emotionally configured. Sonya thought he might be right. Later as we sipped gin and tonics together I told her that some of us were simply not built that way. She thought I should work on my forgiveness threshold but I quite like the level at which it is currently pitched.
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