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Friday 13 March 2015

Elder Abuse Up Close & Ugly



Recently I observed close up an astonishing case of elder abuse where a woman in her late seventies appears to have been defrauded both out of significant sums of money, and what she thought was her home by the combined efforts of her daughters astonishingly each working independently of the other.   Yes, I know it’s hard to believe and furthermore you simply do not expect that kind of thing to happen to people you know

It had all started with her wanting to move North to be near the family, and the subsequent sale of a property in the South Island.   It was slow to sell but her older daughter and partner said they were happy to help out in the short term.  Subsequently what she had fondly imagined was a `down payment’ on a unit in the central city turned almost overnight into two years’ `rent’ and she found herself being unceremoniously turned out almost onto the street when she felt she could not meet the ongoing rental demands of helpful daughter number one and her belligerent partner.

`If you thought the money you gave them was a deposit on the property why didn’t you check that the place was in your name?’   I asked incredulously.

`Well first of all I trusted my daughter……. and I didn’t quite like to keep pestering her when she’s busy for ownership papers….’

To make matters considerably worse it appears that while this was taking place, daughter number two was given a `loan’ with which to start an on line fashion business which now appears to be in some jeopardy.

Ever obliging mother did not like to say no, `for one thing she knew I had the money just sitting there doing nothing very much….’
 
Why didn’t she talk to friends or neighbours about this situation before it got completely out of hand?   Because once she realized what had happened and how she had been duped, her most significant emotion was one of deep shame.  She wanted to avoid at all costs anyone finding out how badly her beloved children had behaved towards her!

`I found it hard to believe.  These were my little girls and I loved them.  I trusted them.’

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