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Sunday 22 November 2020

Time to Bring Back a Reign of Terror

 

Philippa agrees with me as far as attention in hospitals and care homes is concerned – at least I think she does.   She and I have had a considerable and concentrated raft of experience in recent months and for her it’s not over yet.   We both agree that you simply cannot fault the staff because they are absolutely faultless.   Remember how years ago in the bad old days when hospitals still had Matrons and Staff Nurses how those wholesome caregivers turned into fiends and monsters as they climbed the career ladder? - how over time they terrified all in their path as they strode the hospital corridors?   Well it’s most definitely not that way these days because all and sundry – clients and colleagues alike are treated with undiluted sweetness and love.  It's as if the fundamental ideals of the 1960s have at long last crept into every corner of the health services.

Back in the bad old days when patients were not yet described as they would be when visiting their accountant, family members would certainly not dare to ask for something out of the ordinary on their behalf (water rather than orange juice, butter rather than olive oil spread) for fear of withering glances followed by a firm No!    All that has changed and today you can make any request imaginable and it will largely be agreed with.   Not a crushing glance in sight because everyone positively beams goodwill.   Even the timbre of the voices has changed and the tones of assent are reassuringly low and non-threatening.  A great deal of the time the speech is so soft that it’s quite hard to understand what in fact is actually being communicated but at least you can be sure that it is definitely not hostile.  Clearly entire staff bases have undergone more than one training course entitled Be Good & Be Kind or Spread Love Not War.  

The result of this is that becoming a patient is an immediately pleasant experience in the 2020s though all this sweetness and accord comes at a price.   I might be more anxious and frankly neurotic than most of course but it seems to me that one of the more worrying side effects is that it is easier than it once was to become seriously malnourished and at worst simply slip away via hunger if you should be unfortunate enough to remain in a modern hospital ward for more than a week or two.   Nothing wrong with the food because these days you actually get a menu and there are a range of tempting choices.  The problem seems to be that it is often placed just out of the reach of the recipient who is destined to simply remain tantalised by the wafting aroma.   Thirty minutes later it is whisked away by a smiling aide.    Philippa suggests that if this really is the case throughout the system and she’s by no means convinced because she doesn’t jump to conclusions quite as readily as I do, then the trick is to arrange for a family member to visit at meal times.  Someone who can do the job of those 1950s and 1960s nurses and ensure that bowls of soup actually reach their intended target.  Well who can argue with that?    It was disquieting recently to observe that an elderly man no longer able to swallow his Morphine pills was given ham sandwiches for lunch regardless.   After several complaints and days later nourishing looking soups began to arrive ….. and the only problem that remained was that the plastic lids were almost impossible for the hale and hearty to remove.  The seriously ailing had no chance at all!

Very disturbing to note that often those on a regime of intense pain relief like Morphine, which is likely to increase thirst, have mounting difficulty accessing drinks as they become weaker.  Even water poses problems as time after time requests are either not actioned by the smiling helpers or, equally frustratingly, when they do arrive they are once again placed just beyond the sick person’s reach.   More alarming perhaps are the jugs – far too large and unwieldy particularly for the terminally ill to manage.  A family member needs to be on hand most of the time in such cases. 

Most concerning of all as far as I could see were the number of requests both the trivial and the critical that were simply ignored and toppled off the radar.   It would of course be far easier to tackle this problem if people did not smile quite so much and nod assent quite so readily, an alarming degree of passive resistance.   Even when the specialist himself recommended that the tardy Morphine swallower should now receive pain relief via injection it seemed extraordinarily difficult to get this directive actioned by the cheery and genial assistant staff.  

Call me old fashioned but I cannot help thinking that life for both patients and their extended families was a great deal easier and more straightforward in the bad old days of the wicked Ward Sister’s Reign of Terror. 

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